Digimon with a Side of Lemon Please!
by Zeroxy-Chan
Summary: DaisukexTakeru. Yes it is a yaoi, this is a nonserious attempt to, well, make fun of bad Digimon Lemons! Bring your funny bone,pun intended, to this story!


I've read Digi-porn and frankly it is frightening. Very much so. So here is my little tribute to Digi-porn. And yes, most digi-porn is yaoi, so yeah. This story is meant to make fun to as many digi lemons & limes as possible. Future chapters may come about.

lol

"Tell me again, Davis, why are wandering around in these Digimon infested woods, without our Digimon, in the middle of the night?" Takeru asked. He was getting pretty cold since Daisuke had insisted that they get out of their sleeping bags away from the group and have a walk, in the woods of the digital world. They had only their boxers on which explained why he was so cold. Takeru blushed; he had always been attracted to Davis' stupidity, or recklessness (nah it's stupidity), since he had first met. Daisuke just kept on walking ahead of him. He seemed to be so much bigger and stronger than the blond, but he was only 2 inches taller.

"I told ya, there's something I want you see…" Davis said mysteriously. Davis was bringing TK to see this one sight he had seen the last time he had gone into the digital world. The truth of the matter is that he only got close to Kairi to be closer to his blonde beauty. With his emerald eyes and golden hair, he definitely perked Davis's interests. And being a constant source of optimism, he definitely met his prerequisites for a good partner.

"You do realize that at any given we could be captured or killed by any Digimon that isn't just freshly hatched, right?" TK asked anxiously. Daisuke sighed, what a mood killer.

"Say something positive will ya?" Davis said half-heartedly. They had reached the place that he wanted them to be. It was a pond, but above it, high in the sky was a sphere glowing with a luminescent green light. "Isn't this a great place? TK I need to tell you something, it's about you and me…"

But he was cut off. Takeru had fallen into his arms in such away that the blonde's back was pressed against Davis' chest. His head was leaning onto Daisuke's shoulder. Davis closed his arms around the smaller boy. TK felt like that he was protected by everything while in Davis's embrace. Davis felt that he had the greatest treasure in the entire world in hid arms. Ruby-brown eyes met sky-blue eyes. The forest rustled with a sigh of relief, as if the wind knew what was happening. A warm breeze blew onto the lake, obscuring the reflections of the full moon, the sphere, and what the lover's did on the lakeshore…

In the Real World, Two days later…

"Kouji I need to tell you something, I need you more then anyone. Please Seraphimon has made soul impure with his juices, I need your juices to wipe it clean," Koichi told his brother. He held onto the little light that Kouji could give him, before he was consumed in darkness. Kouji began to take off his brother's clothes.

And Kairi turned the TV off just in time to keep this story from having any twincest. She sighed; she missed the two boys basically whoring themselves over to her. Begging, stripping, threatening to commit suicide, what a great time it was. She started to get nostalgic about having being fought over despite having no values other than being able to look and be vulnerable. That was why she was mercilessly hit on the head with a wooden sword.

"CODY! What did I tell about practicing, for your big match that will decide the path that you will take in life and your destiny, indoors?" She yelled in that whiny kind of way that even gave Mimi shivers. It was like she was angry and sad and pouty and just generally being a bitch, but a sad bitch. Even Yolei wasn't this annoying.

"Sorry miss Tai's sister. It's just that I sensed weakness. And my philosophy is to stamp out weakness early so that they don't steal what the strong deserve." He apologized.

"Perhaps we should stamp you out you little bastard. Nobody likes you,"

"Then why are people always taking pictures of me and Joe together?" the brat asked innocently.

Kairi shuddered at what that meant. Twincest was a step up from a shotacon. Thankfully a phone rang which gave her a reason to push the young kendo student out of the house. She picked up the phone.

"…Hello? Is this Kairi?" said a voice on the other line. It sounded slightly traumatized. Then Hikari realized it was Mimi's.

"Yeah it is, is this Mimi. My god, what's going on? You sound like you're a wreck!"

"Well, I told Yolei she couldn't come over today. Then I got three bricks my windows. The all had notes attached to them written in blood. Stuff like 'Who is it?' Oh my god she's gone. She was outside my house all day. I needed to tell you" Kairi looked outside and saw Iori challenging Yolei outside with his little wooden sword.

"She's here"

"ARE YOU THE ONE MY BELOVED HAS BEEN TALKING TO?" Yolei yelled, obviously to Kairi not Iori. "NO ONE MAY HAVE HER BUT ME!"

"Oh no! She must be able to read lips from a great distance. Those glasses of hers must be pretty thick." Kairi stayed silent her window was stained with a little boy's blood. And Yolei was coming for her…

Three hours later…

Tai was so glad Kairi was okay. Only four broken limbs, a broken hand, a dislocated jaw, and five broken ribs, but she was okay. From what he had pieced together was that Yolei had thought that a thing had gone on between Kairi and Mimi. But she was still alive. Yolei was homicidal when it came to someone getting between her and Mimi. Michael had been slowly tortured to death and his blood was said to be what she used for ink. And Palmon had had several watery graves…

"Kairi, can you hear me? Listen to my voice. It'll bring you away from that light and to me." Tai said sincerely.

"Big brother, is that you?" She said weakly. She turned her head and looked up to him through all of her bandages.

"Yeah it is,"

"I love you" Tears welled in her eyes. She attempted to sit up and hug him. This slight movement caused her tremendous amounts of pain. He leaned in and hugged her. The whole while they both knew that their love was merely platonic, but it was love nevertheless. And in that platonic love Tai groped his sister's bandaged ass.

"So hot…"

Elsewhere…

Izzy typed on his computer. He had been waiting for a certain porno to picture to download from the digital world. Suddenly an Instant Message Window popped up. The screen name was NextGenI.

NextGenI: Did you download my pic yet?

MekaIzuma: No, it is still downloading. Where did you take it?

NextGenI: Primary Village

MekaIzuma: Nice

NextGenI: You know I like in you black leather, so this pic is a compliment.

MekaIzuma: You mean the one the one where I'm tied up by computer cables/tentacles?

NextGenI: Yeah

MekaIzuma: Wow, you know that was hard to do right?

NextGenI: Still hot.

MekaIzuma: Wait it's almost done…

NextGenI: So you wanna meet up?

MekaIzuma: Where?

NextGenI: The Orb of Secrets

MekaIzuma: Where's that?

NextGenI: The lake where you guys were last time were last time you came here.

MekaIzuma: Alrite

NextGenI logged off. Izuma clicked around a little until the pic was done. He clicked on the file. The picture was of Gennai (02) in white leather lying very sexually on one of the giant building blocks that were common in Primary Village. He came right then and there.

Meanwhile…

"Oh really? You want to buy some flowers?" Sora's Mom asked nicely, "Who's the lucky girl?"

"Um, well, 'she's' a nice little blonde," Davis answered awkwardly, "I'm going to 'her' house tonight,"

"Oh isn't that sweet?" Sora's Mom said then she turned her head and yelled up to her daughter, "See? I told you he would find someone special, you owe me fifty bucks!"

"Digital dollars?" Sora yelled across the house.

"No! Real World Money you stingy girl! You still owe me for all those black roses you stole from my shop!"

"Burn In the Seventh Hell, Mom! I hope you get raped in the middle of the night by Apoclyman, and he has tentacles!"

Sora's Mom blushed slightly, "Well, that would be nice," Daisuke ran out as soon as he paid for the flowers. Sora had gotten really creepy and gothy lately. Little did he know that she was fingering a dead Palmon that she had preserved while he ran down the sidewalk.

And that's kinda all for now…


End file.
